Understand
by rainybamboo
Summary: It was a hard time for Teddy recovering from her lost of Henry. It came out to be extremely hard when she operated on a patient who had the same problems as Henry…Teddy&Henry, Teddy
1. Chapter 1

**Understand**

**Teddy&Cristina **

**Friendship/Comfort**

**Post S8 E18**

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended by this story. I do not own the plot or the script from the Series Grey's Anatomy.**

**Summary:It was a hard time for Teddy recovering from her lost of Henry. It came out to be extremely hard when she operated on a patient who had the same problems as Henry…**

**Guest Star: Henry.**

**Owen, Meredith, Arizona was mentioned.**

**I am not a medical student and English is not my mother-tongue. This is my first novel in fanfic, and I am quite nervous. Please let me know if I made any mistakes.**

**Reviews Please! I'll check my reviews very often, and I'll really appreciate it if you share your opinions.**

* * *

Side A: Teddy

Teddy was pressing harder and harder at the patient's chest with rib-breaking strength. The patient suffered from a lung tumor, massive hemorrhage, and they had just cracked his chest. Unfortunately, it was too late. The patient's lung was like a sieve. A V-fib took place soon and then they started CPR.

It was incredibly hot inside the OR, not to mention the high temperature in Teddy's airtight scrubs. She could feel sweats streaming down her neck,back and tangled hair, causing an unbearable itch. Her arms and palms were in dull pain. In fact, they seemed to be out of control, doing compression automatically. As frustration, exhaustion and all the physical discomfort struck her together, tears began to well in her eyes, blurring out her vision. She didn't even bother to blink it back; she didn't need a clear field of vision at all. The only thing remained in her mind was compression. She would never stop and let this man die on the operating table, definitely not in the same way as Henry. The sound and color of the surroundings was fading away. Her heart was screaming and pleading soundlessly,"Hang on, please! Please! Stay with us!"

* * *

Side B: Cristina

"It has been an hour….He's passed, Dr. Altman." Cristina Yang worriedly watched the blonde attending overexerted herself performing an noneffective CPR. They started compression an hour ago but there was no sign that the heart would be coming back.

"Dr. Altman, the tumor has eroded through the pulmonary artery. We have maxed out on Dopamine, Norepinephrine, and Epinephrine. I don't know what else we can do….We could tell his death at the beginning of the surgery. " Jackson Avery was clearly confused with the abnormal behavior of his usually coolheaded superior.

"Avery…." Cristina sighed slightly cutting him off. She knew exactly what all of this was about. The same thing had happened weeks ago, on Henry Burton, Teddy Altman's husband, who didn't survive from it either. Cristina had been there holding the scalpel but couldn't stopped Henry from bleeding out, while her mentor was in another OR saving her own patient, without any idea what was actually going on. It had been a day like hell for both of them. Though Teddy once had forced her to repeat the whole procedure time and again and was able to recite every single detail of Henry's operation, it would be totally different to face it in the OR. To say she was worried about Teddy was an understatement. Watching her mentor and friend on the edge of falling apart almost broke her heart.

"Dr. Altman….! Listen to me. You have done everything you could. Now let him go in peace." Cristina exclaimed in a most stern voice, partially referring to the patient's ribs which undoubtedly would have been broken under such a strong CPR. She understood Teddy's feeling. She had been there too. Rationally, you knew it was it, but emotionally you just believed you could do more.

There was no respond. With a little annoyance, Cristina stepped forward and grabbed Teddy's shoulders. Teddy barely paid attention to her touch. She continued compression. Her muscle was rigid and her body was trembling violently. It didn't take a long time before Cristina realized that Teddy's body wasn't in her own charge any more.

Swallowing the lump formed in her throat, Cristina turned to Avery without hesitation; lowered her voice, "Avery. HELP ME!"

Together, they lifted Teddy by her upper arms, physically released her from the operating table and seated her at the corner of the OR. Teddy struggled against their grips; as CPR had drained of all her energy, she was too weak to succeed.

"Time of death, 7:16 p.m." Cristina casted a hurried glance at the monitor.

Cristina gingerly untied the mask and scrubs and removed the bloody gloves for Teddy. Teddy was a real mess. Her cheeks reddened by the strenuous compression, whereas her lips were as pale as a ghost. A mixture of perspiration and tears coated her face. Her silky blonde hair was now wet and messy. Shaking her head wordlessly, Cristina ran her fingers through Teddy's sweaty hair, combed some of the knots, pushed some strands back from her gaunt face, and tied it back into a ponytail.

Teddy was fighting hard to breathe; allowed as much air into her lung as she could. Apparently, she had almost been smothered by her thick mask. She was shaking uncontrollably from head to toe, with her muscles squeezing tight around the slightest touch. Murmuring some incoherent words, she stared blankly at the operating table.

Cautiously, Cristina stripped off Teddy's light-colored operating suit, exposing the dark blue scrubs inside. She furrowed her brow when she saw the scrubs was also soaked in a pool of sweats, which made its color even darker.

"Umm….Adrenaline rush. Dehydrate. Drinking water and cold towel please." Cristina Yang was the only person who could stick to her typical nonchalant voice at the moment, as if she was just treating a regular patient. She tilted her head to check if someone had obeyed her order and met Jackson's shocked face in the half way.

"Clean up here and tell the family. Is that okay for you?" She was asking but there was no room for rejection in her tone.

"…Yea, sure….Of course…."Jackson was still confused but he knew better than to ask; therefore headed off without another word.

"People, MOVE!" Cristina looked around and urged. Thanks for Teddy's teaching, she finally learned how to work in a team and successfully won trust and respect from her teammates.


	2. Chapter 2

Side A: Teddy

Teddy slowly sucked mineral water through straw from a glass bottle, while Cristina was wiping her face with a cold wet towel. The cold touch slowed down her racing heartbeat; thank god she didn't feel like having an explosive heart any more. Anyway, she didn't really care about it. The only thought in her mind was piercing her ceaselessly like a dagger—"He is dead. Henry is dead and now this patient is dead, too." Teddy wasn't going to collapse though, not only because she was an attending in front of a dozen of residents, interns, nurses and other fellow-workers in the OR, but because part of her intellect had already acknowledged the bad prognosis. She knew what would happen. In fact, she was the person who explained all the risks and possibilities to the patient's family, his freaking-out wife in particular. She just hated to admit she could do nothing. Of all people being a cardio surgeon, she was not capable to save someone's beloved, including her own. Reassuring Cristina that she had done enough and forgiving her was one thing, but facing the same case again herself was a completely different level Teddy had never taken. Besides, she was too tired to do anything right now.

"You should take a shower and get some sleep." It took Teddy quite a while to recognize that Cristina was talking to her. Cristina might make all kinds of statement in an insensibility way, but Teddy could tell that she was hiding concern behind an indifferent facade.

"Umm…No, thanks. I am fine. Really…" Teddy tried to argue. Their shift started only a couple of hours before. There was no way that the head of Cardiothoracic Surgery would spend the whole night in bed.

Cristina raised a brow in disagreement, "Do I need to find you A GURNEY, Dr. Altman?" she growled. Teddy found it half amusing and half scary when Cristina did this. She was so fatigued that she was unable to put up an I-am-your-attending argument. Without the authority as an attending, arguing with Cristina Yang usually meant putting herself on the losing end. Teddy decided that she'd better go with it; she allowed Cristina to support her with a hand and help her to the attending's locker room.

Teddy sat on the bench, watching Cristina collect bath things from her locker. She simply nodded or shook when Cristina grabbed something and asked if she would need it. Minutes later, she found herself pushed into the shower.

"Take your time. But don't be in there too long. Don't hind somewhere in the hospital or sneak out. Sleep in the On-Call Room. We still need our attending on the shift." Cristina said with an extreme solemn expression, which made Teddy feel as small as a 5-year-old being lectured. In stead of taking offense at the bold resident, Teddy just nodded quietly. A small smirk of release appeared on the brunette's face. She left immediately and closed the door behind.

Teddy was alone in the shower. She felt lonely. Usually she was a kick-ass surgeon but a narrow dim room could change her into a vulnerable mode easily. When the bitterness engulfed her, the only thing she could do was to imagine Henry was somewhere in the shower. It was as ineffectual as usually the case though.

She sighed, staggered towards the bench to undress herself. It took her like a million years to finish, since her overstrained limbs was still shaking violently and could barely carry out her instructions. Cristina was right. She really needed some rest before holding scalpels again.

Teddy was going to follow Cristina's words. Yes, she was a intelligent, independent woman, maybe a little bit assertive or stubborn sometimes, but she was really proud of her personality and appreciated her own decisions. Any attempts to give her orders or judgement about her personal life would surely enrage her. But things were different with the most desperate moments, when obeying orders would be like grasping a life line. During the horrible days on the war field, she obeyed her superior officer. When it turned out that she had lost Owen forever, Arizona jumped right in and offered to be her friend. There was certain reason why she and Arizona became closest friends so fast: Arizona always knew when to show up to push her a little, no matter how reluctant she seemed towards that. And Henry. Henry would never compel her to do anything; he gave good suggestions instead. When she failed a surgery, had a terrible date, or was pissed at her residents (Usually means Cristina Yang), he would picked up a couple of activities or topics. Each time she took his lead, it turned out to be really charming and funny.

So tonight, much harder than her expectation, Teddy was more than delighted to have some orders to obey, even they were from Cristina Yang. In fact, she was sort of grateful that it came from Cristina Yang. It sounded ridiculous, but Cristina Yang was a spitting image of her, as skillful, talented and headstrong as she once had been during her residency. Months ago, she had kept criticizing Cristina for every single movement in and outside OR, which was an incredibly tough time for both of them. It seemed that she tortured the young brunette on purpose sometimes, but deep inside her heart, she understood the young brunette. She had been a resident herself and Cristina was exactly her spitting image.

Teddy stepped towards the spray. Her head was jammed with multiple thoughts, which was the only way to distract her from grief at present, resulting in a lack of cautiousness. She flinched as her bare feet met the freezing, slippery, tiled floor and then she stumbled. She tried to rebalance herself but her soft leg helped nothing with the situation. Before a scream could form in the throat, she had fallen down on her hips.

Dull pain spread out along the skeleton, intensifying the muscular sore Teddy was already suffering from. She could tell some of her muscles was convulsing against the pain, as well as the damn cold floor. Fresh tears spilled out before she could shut it down. To make things worse, the spray above somehow decided that it was time to work and suddenly poured warm water over, right into her widely-opened eyes.

Teddy was pretty sure there wouldn't be another living creature in human history who was as humiliated, embarrassed and pathetic as she was right now. Tears rushed uncontrollably down her cheeks and sobs escaped from her mouth. She wasn't able to stop it. It was too painful to make any effort or even think about it at this moment. She curled up under the spray of warm water; buried her face in her knees. In this way, she could keep herself warm at the very least. She hated to be a sad widow, yet she could do nothing but gave in and let the grief take over her.

* * *

Side B: Cristina

Cristina had been standing outside the shower for a while. As the sobs from the other side of the door turned into a heartbreaking cry and gasp, she winced slightly but with no surprise. She knew there would be a meltdown for Teddy; it was only a matter of time.

As far as she knew, Teddy had been stoically calm since Henry's death. She didn't even take a day-off except for the funeral day. A professional smile was on her face when she dealt with the arrival of Henry's families, conciliation from colleagues, or other annoying issues which came along with a dead husband.

Teddy never did shutting people out. On the contrary, she chatted with fellow-workers and patients a lot, and Cristina even overheard her planning girls' night with Arizona once. As a woman who lost her husband, Teddy seemed to be optimistic enough. She insisted all the time that she was fine. But to Cristina's mind, She was just trying so hard to hide her grief.

The No.1 indicator was that she turned into a babbler. Listening to her complaining the food of hospital cafeteria during an eight-hour surgery only drove Cristina crazy. Everyone in the hospital learned smile-and-listen when Teddy was around, which, to Cristina's idea, helped nothing.

Cristina knew that Teddy stuck at hospital for one 72-hour after another. She carried on her overloaded schedule until Chief Hunt forbade her entering her office. She didn't bother to fight against him at all. She still hated Owen so much and she gave up fighting against him only for Cristina's sake. Cristina guessed Teddy must have heard about the quarrel between she and Owen on Zola's birthday party. Maybe it was because she knew what it was like to lose a husband, and didn't want Cristina go through the same thing. In fact, when it turned out that she and Owen both needed more time to repair their marriage, it was Teddy who took over most of Cristina's post-ops, allowing her to go home as early as possible. Even their patients were talking about the conscientious Head of Cardiothoracic Surgery, who often did pre-ops and post-ops in person. Cristina understood that She was just afraid of being at home alone and cutting into someones' heart would make her feel better. She also noticed that on the days Teddy was involuntarily off duty, she'd sit in the waiting room sipping coffee until caffeine could not keep her awake any more; and then she'd crash in an On-Call room.

A couple of days before, Teddy started a leading-edge stem-cell research, which gave her more reasons to stay at the hospital. She devoted herself to it, however managed to give Cristina, her No.1 lab assistant, a nine-to-five lab schedule. When extra work occurred, she came over and finished that with interns. Cristina didn't mean to feel good about herself, but she could tell Teddy needed her badly. Interns messed things up all the time. When she and Owen finally worked things out, Cristina realized that they couldn't have achieve it without Teddy's support. She owed Teddy a huge thank you. She didn't plan to say it. She wasn't an emotionally expressive person and "thank you" usually wasn't on her speak-out-loud list. Besides, doing was better than saying this time.

Long time ago, when she told Meredith that she loved the cardio goddess, she'd meant it. When she shouted at Owen that Teddy could get anything she wanted, she'd meant it. She and Teddy never got close to each other outside the hospital. Not to mention that they had a long period of mutual standoffish loathing at work. But somehow, Teddy became more and more special to her. Teddy was the first one who trusted her more than she trusted herself, the one who said "thank you" to her after she technically killed her husband, the one who told her "You were me in that OR." Owen, Cardio, Henry…These had just created a miraculous, unexplainable bond between the two of them.

A smirk spread out on Cristina's face as she thought about just how similar she and Teddy were. Owen had such a stable taste! They were both hatchet-faced, flat-chest women with slim figure and strong personalty. They both wouldn't get involved easily; but if they were indeed involved, they might fling caution to the winds. Cristina observed the way Teddy bore with her sorrow, then realized they were much more similar than she was once aware of.

According to her own experience, she knew there was going to be a meltdown. Cristina went through hers after her break-up with Burke and an ovariectomy. To a certain extend, the meltdown saved her. Yet she had to let Meredith give her a shot of sedative to calm herself down, which embarrassed her for a long time. She was surrounded by her caring friends at that time, but if she had had a choice, she would have preferred some privacy. That was the reason why she chose a shower for Teddy. A narrow, empty shower with plenty of warm water was somewhere safe enough to be vulnerable. Teddy, the blue-eyed beautiful perky Barbie, with a self-respect like a real goddess, deserved a safe place to collapse.

Knowing that the cry probably wasn't coming to an end soon, Cristina roused herself from her thoughts and left the lock room quietly. She thought seriously about coming back to check on Teddy later, in case that she would need some sedative too.


	3. Chapter 3

**I love this part very much. Hope you can enjoy it. Teddy and Henry interaction. **

Side A: Teddy

_Teddy found herself standing outside their apartment. Another intolerable sleepless night, she sighed heavily and opened the door. She was attracted by the little noises inside: somebody was in the apartment._

_"Henry?" She was stunned at the familiar figure in the kitchen with his back to her. It was impossible. Henry was dead, she thought, and then realized it must be a dream. The continuous pain of losing Henry made it extremely easy to tell apart reality and dreamworld._

_She stood at the door, frozen with astonishment and joy: it was like a god-given reunion._

_"You come home earlier today. Did you have a good day?" The man in the kitchen was occupied with vegetable and meat on the chopping board and didn't turn around, "A lot of paperwork? Your crazy Bypass patient's okay?" It sounded just like a normal day, a day after 36 hours' exhausting hospital work. She couldn't even remember the patient Henry was talking about, which made she wondered how many craps about work she had thrown at him._

_The guilt haunting her for days punched her on the stomach. She needed to talk, to tell Henry whatever she failed to speak out before."…I am umm…fine. How about you?" An imperceptible tremble was in her voice._

_Henry let out a percipient sigh, "Well, sounds like something annoying happened in the hospital again. Wanna share?" It was usually the case, with her sharing her exciting and frustrating moment and Henry listening. _

_She stepped forward, hugged him from behind and buried her face in shame, "Henry…I…I don't mean to…I mean I talk about hospital all the time….It must be so boring….I…I wasn't thinking."_

_"Silly." he chuckled, "Hospital is fun. You see. We are both familiar with hospital, not in the same way though. " He giggled, amused by himself._

_Tears was running down Teddy's cheeks. "I am sorry I made my job the main focus. You said I'd rather you follow me around, looking cute. I…I didn't mean to but…maybe I did….Oh god, I am so terrible, terrible selfish wife. I am sorry, Henry. I am deeply deeply sorry. I…" As sobs replaced silent tears, she had to gasp to finish._

_"Hey, you know what," the unusual cries alerted Henry; he turned around and pulled Teddy into an embrace, "I was grumbling, ok? Husbands are allowed to grumble in front of their wives, right?" He rocked her tenderly, mutely asking for an agreement, to which she only shed more tears, so he went back on," I am happy, and proud. Yeah. No offense, there are tens of surgeons who can do your job; but my job here, irreplaceable. I mean, who else in the world can feed you, massage you, and cheer you up as half good as I do?" _

_Henry was absolutely right,Teddy thought bitterly. He was so thoughtful and generous that he was still standing up for her in spite of all the terrible things she had done to him. She didn't really know what Henry meant to her until she lost him forever. She paid for her unawareness. "…I am so careless, Henry. I apologize…" She choked with sobs, shaking violently in his arms._

_"Teddy, look at me." Henry tried to pull her back, but Teddy only held on tighter. "Ok…ok…I'm here." He gave up and whispered into her ears, "You are the sexiest woman in the OR, remember? I love that side of you. I met you when you were at work and I fell in love with you when you were at work. I love your surgeon side maybe even more than your housewife side. I love you for who you are." _

_His palm brushed her neck back and forth. It was warm and soft, somehow reminded her of his cold stiff body in the morgue. She missed Henry's touch so badly; her voice cracked, "I a-am sorry….I am so sorry that I…I wasn't there…." She referred to the last surgery this time, without any idea whether Henry could get it. She only wanted to apologize. _

_"You are alway there, maybe not physically. We share a bond, heart to heart. When you are at work, or when I am in a surgery, we are still together. Physical connection is a low level for great couple like us, isn't it? " He said in a soft voice, rubbed her back gently in slow, smooth circles. _

_Teddy had been bearing the guilt ever since Henry's death. She could have been a better wife, canceled all those stupid on-line dates and they could have spent much more happy time together. The thought that she would never have a chance to make up for Henry ate her alive. An emotional crash occupied her. She didn't know what to do but mumble apologies again and again, avoiding eye contacts with Henry._

_"Shh, shh, sweetheart…. Come on. I am the one who just cut up pounds of onions but you are the one in tears. That's unfair." Henry teased, trying to lighten the atmosphere up. "You've had way too many 'sorry' today. So many that we can use it to add a brand new dish to our dinner tonight." A sound halfway between a choke and a giggle came out from Teddy. He smiled in relief and continued, "Ok, let me tell you a secret. You are a bonus to me, a winning lottery."_

_"What? Like a one-million-dollar prize?" She finally lifted her head, weeping. _

_"Even more." He lifted a hand to wipe away her tears,"I cherish every single minute of our marriage, together or separated, fighting or not. I enjoy it and never imagine a better one. You've already been an amazing wife. And please do not try to be better; I may not be able to handle that." _

_He felt Teddy giggling into his neck, "If that is what you ask…."_

_"It surely is….Oh, and take good care of yourself. It would be scary if my wife walked in the hospital like something from Scream IV." He swiped at the serious bags under her eyes, caused a grimace from her. _

_"I am not…." she protested._

_"Yes you are…." he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. His lip was as soft as it was in her memory; she closed her eye savoring the feeling. "Promise me. Do not blame yourself any more. Take care of yourself for me. " There was an underlying note of sternness in his voice. Teddy panicked; it was the time._

_"I promise." She looked into his eyes. She could see herself reflected in his charming blue eyes, pale and frightened. His blue eyes were like a calm and clear lake; made her want to drown in it and forget the world, but she couldn't. She had a life going on, a life without Henry. Her stomach churned. "…I promise." she bit her lip hard and forced a smile. _

_"Good girl." He praised her, cradling her into another hug," You are so gorgeous when you smile, Theodora Altman." Teddy had a weird exclusion of her full name, but Henry made sure it sounded sweet and sexy to her all the time._

_"I love you, Henry. I love you…I miss you so much." She murmured, resting her head on his chest. She could hear his strong she knew it was a dream, the heartbeats sounded so real. Tears welled up; she closed her eyes and held her breath._

The warmth she was cuddling had gone. She knew she was back to the real world, holding a blanket in a dim On-Call Room. The pillow beneath her was wet, indicating she had a dream full of tears. She kept her eyes closed, tried to be stoical to the overwhelming frustration, praying for another sleep as soon as possible


	4. Chapter 4

Side B: Cristina

Cristina was satisfied to see Teddy snuggling beneath blankets on the bottom bunk in a On-Call Room, sound asleep. Her drenched blonde hair was spilling over the pillow. Cristina could tell there had been a hysterical cry from her red and swollen eyes. There lay a Teddy she only got to know recently. She gradually found out how Teddy hid hurt and grief behind a peaceful facade. Teddy was a person who seldom showed herself. People needed to get at her initiatively. She wanted Cristina to learn lessons by comprehending why she deserved a mean treatment from her mentor, instead of listening to her mentor's scold directly, which almost failed to work on Cristina. Cristina wasn't stupid; she was too focused to think through Teddy's hints. God knows how much misunderstanding this teaching method had caused. She remembered herself unconvinced and vengefully fought back, in the cafeteria, elevator, Callie's wedding, and even in front of the Chief; not until recently did she realize how much she hurt Teddy in the mean while.

There was going to be no more misunderstanding. She learned her lesson in the end; she had graduated from Teddy. And now in this situation, she fully understood Teddy. She was pretty sure that she understood it better than Teddy herself; she started learning this lesson at the age of nine.

At nine, Cristina held her father's heart in hand. She felt it bumping and then it stopped. Years later, when she hold a heart of a patient for the first time, memories came back; her heart raced and shivers went down her spines. Even after thousands of cadio surgeries, she could still feel the excitement, the lost and the hope, the need to fight. That was the reason why she was so addicted to cadio surgery: she needed to feel that feeling, seize the opportunity to save lives. She wouldn't stand by any more; she gave up a lot to make herself an omnipotent cardio god.

The truth was, she wasn't omnipotent at all. First, she couldn't save Henry, and now she couldn't save Teddy from grieving. To herself, it only hurt a little now, since she had had many years to convince herself that she had done whatever she could. She was a little girl at that time; it was convincing enough. Memories had fade away and she could focus on the future.

But Teddy wasn't that lucky. The wound was new. And she was a world-class surgeon, not a helpless child, but she failed to save her husband's life. She wasn't there by his side. Powerlessness and self-accusation would take over her bit by bit in a much more invasive way. And with a similar case came around and her failure again, Cristina couldn't hardly imagine what that woman had been through in the last few hours.

Love was not loan. Your beloved would never blame you even if you did nothing for him. Cristina wished she could talk Teddy into this. Unfortunately, this was indeed something you had to learn and accept by yourself. Look at the gaunt figure in the bunk, Cristina felt heartily sorry for her mentor.

Teddy shifted slightly, pulling the blankets tighter around herself. Unconsciously, Cristina reached out a hand to smooth the mussed covers. Recognizing where her hand was, she blushed and snatched it away quickly.

Teddy's white pager was lying on the pillow. Cristina picked it up and had an idea: Teddy needed an undisturbed sleep. She shove the pager into her pocket and left with a perky smile on her face.

Side A: Teddy

Teddy was woken up by someone calling her name. Light stung her swollen eyes. She squinted and found Cristina Yang standing beside the bed.

"Hey," Teddy tried to sit up but her head felt heavy like filled by lead. "Aah…Headache." she moaned and leaned against the bedpost, "Sorry. What's up?"

"Dane Heller, the peds patient. We had an AMI. We have performed Thrombolytic therapy and now we have to perform a remedial PCI. Dr. Robbins supervises. I need your signature. " Cristina reported in a businesslike manner, handing the folder to her.

"PCI, piece of cake for you, huh? " Teddy scanned and signed the chart, "What time is it? Why didn't I get paged?"

"Umm...'cause I have your pager."

"You WHAT?" Teddy looked up and saw Cristina playing a white pager nervously with her fingers.

"I won't have illegal operations; just keep you from non-life-threatening cases. You look tired." Cristina explained timidly; no idea if her mentor was happy with that.

"…Fine. Thanks." Teddy closed her eyes and let out a weary smile. It was inappropriate but she couldn't have appreciated it more, for her head was splitting like a ticking bomb.

"That's it? You are not gonna be mad or give me a lecture or something?" Cristina really seemed worried.

"Umm… What is it? Cristina Yang being afraid?" Teddy eyed her with interest.

"No, I just don't want to miss any important surgery because of that." Cristina put on her arrogant facade immediately.

"Ok. Go ahead. You know what to do." Teddy said lightly. Cristina wasn't the same; she was a qualified surgeon from every perspective.

"Yea."Cristina was relieved; she switched herself to the friend mode, "Go back to sleep. I will let you know whatever worth your attention." She pulled back the blanket, as a sign for Teddy to lie back in.

"You still remember I am your attending, do you?" Teddy raised an eyebrow, feigning to be offended.

"Uh-uh, as you wish, ma'am." Cristina's face was expressionless. But judging by her slight bite on her bottom lip, Teddy could only guess she was hiding a laugh.

Teddy lay down onto the pillow, allowing Cristina to tuck her in. "Thank you, really. " she added genuinely.

"Shh, shh, s-l-e-e-p." Cristina coaxed, "We're gonna be alright."

Side B: Cristina

It wasn't a complex surgery; Cristina scrubbed out only after two hours. Feeling the necessary to relax, she wandered around the hallway and found herself at Neonatus. Through the glass, she gazed at the adorable chubby cheeks of new-borns.

Birth and death was like a cycle. She remembered the fairytale her father used to read to her: when someone passed away somewhere, a baby was born somewhere else. Some people feared of death; others feared of giving birth. Nobody could stick to the schedule all the time. Accidents occurred every minute in this hospital, some of which turned out to be a big surprised while others just went to the opposite. Even a goal-oriented person like she was had to admit that plans might never keep up to changes.

Maybe changes wouldn't be that bad sometimes.

Two gorgeous baby faces flashed upon her mind. Both of her goddaughters, Zola and Sofia, were not well-planned, which didn't prevent them from becoming their parents' pride and joy. Cristina loved her goddaughters; how she cuddled them and mumbled infant words into their little ears surprised her colleagues. It wasn't about career-ambition, or selfishness, or cowardliness at all. She wouldn't ask any of her beloved to trust her unless she trusted herself. She was being responsible, which wasn't likely to be understood by many people. She didn't need them to except for one, with whom she eventually found a common ground to work things out. Although neither of them had any idea where they were heading to, they were pretty sure that there was a solid unchangeable common ground between them. Maybe they would go further apart for several more times, but they had learned how to trace back to their common ground. Things would never be easy and she felt it worth the effort. Willing or not, part of her was changed forever.

Side A: Teddy

Teddy tied her frizzy hair into a ponytail randomly as she led herself to the hallway. Color came back in her cheeks after hours of undisturbed sleep. Catching sight of Cristina Yang at the nurse station, she walked behind her; harrumphed for attention, "Hey, what do we have?"

"Dr. Altman." Cristina's voice stunned. She took a hurried glance at the blonde and went back filling her chart. "Nothing. All clear. We are good." she answered anxiously.

"Good." Teddy knew her star student would never let her down.

"Umm…Feel any better?" Cristina asked tentatively.

"Yea…a lot." The nervousness infected Teddy, who fixed her eyes on the chart too.

"Good." Cristina was almost in a whisper.

"Yea…"

And there was an awkward silence.

"Dr. Yang," It was an clumsy intern who broke the silence,"here's your sandwich and tea." He put a bag of snack on the counter.

Cristina took another quick look at Teddy, and turned back to the nervous intern, "Well, this will be Dr. Altman's and I'm afraid you need to buy another one for me. "

"I…I thought I was scrubbing in in Dr. Hunt's surgery?" the intern stuttered, cautiously reading Cristina's expression.

"You would if you came back in time. "Cristina said in mastery, "You have a good…"she checked her watch, "…seven ,oh, six minutes. So, GO NOW!" The intern ran away with a woeful look.

Teddy smirked at the back of the poor intern. Cristina was so mean to interns sometimes. Teddy had given up changing Cristina's attitude towards that. As one of the new "nazi"s, Cristina was also a damn good teacher; so what harm would it do if she was a little mean to them?

Teddy draw back her sight; not expected Cristina's gaze. The look on her face, which Teddy could only classified as shyness, was extremely rare.

"Will you?" There was only a brief invitation from her.

"Of course. Thanks. I'm starving to death." Teddy obediently accepted the food Cristina handed her; couldn't even remember when she ate for the last time. Besides, turning Cristina down while she was being shy, not a good idea.

"Sorry for tea only." Even rarer for Cristina to feel sorry about such details.

Teddy was amused but moved, "It's okay. Coffee really makes me gag now. " After living on coffee for weeks, Teddy was more than grateful to have other choices. "Wanna share it?" She unwrapped the parcel, broke the sandwich in halves and handed one of them to Cristina. She was rewarded by a tiny smile of Cristina.

"We have a Coronary Angiography at 8. Wanna perform the operation?" Cristina was going through the last page of charts.

"Coronary Angiography? It is your routine surgery. You need me why?"

"I…I just thought maybe you'd like to cut into someone when you wake up." Cristina explained herself hesitantly, "You know what, don't bother. I'll handle it. Sorry."

"No, no, I didn't get that. I mean…Yea…I would definitely like to scrub in. Thank you." Teddy blurted out. She had butterflies in her stomach: Cristina understood her, eventually; what's more, she cared about her.

"Okay, great." The young brunette's face lighted up. She devoured her piece of sandwich and collected all her stuff with enthusiasm. "I am getting Mr. Lorgan prepped. Meet you in the OR."

Teddy watched her walk down the corridor, letting the emotion sink in. There was still a person on the earth who understood her; not sympathetically, not otherwise, just understood. After Henry's death, she thought she'd lost that kinds of person forever. Things didn't always suck.

"The days feel like years since you left, Henry." Teddy meditated quietly, "But I am gonna be fine."

She slammed shut the chart, as if having some determinations in her mind, and headed off for scrubbing.

_**The End**_


End file.
